March 2020
The public’s appreciation of my job as a humble supermarket assistant, now Key Worker, has risen considerably as I clutch your next meal in the middle of a catastrophic pandemic! Suddenly the disparaging remarks about dimwit shelf stackers are replaced with genuine veneration as I guide shoppers round the new one-way system.
Panic ensues in the store and stockpiling of basics commences with frenzied determination. Inexplicability this includes toilet rolls and I wonder if the public think the virus has dysentery repercussions. The message that “if everyone just shopped as normal, there would be plenty to go round”, falls on deaf ears. I will scream if someone asks about yeast again!
Behind the scenes I smile at the sound of colleagues singing ‘Happy Birthday’ whilst washing their hands, following recent Government guidelines.
I begin to resemble a surgeon in scrubs, as I don latex gloves and face-mask. Incomprehensibly the latter seems to shut down my hearing and adds to my already muffled communication difficulties. Meanwhile I note some customers wearing ill-fitting masks, nose blatantly protruding. I restrain myself from pointing out that ‘chin warmers’ will neither protect themselves or others from this invisible demon.
Two metre social distancing dots have been adhered to the floor tiles. Some customers take minimal notice of this, in contrast with others who leap back as if they’ve been electrocuted!
Like an OCD sufferer I continually sanitize baskets, trolleys, touch points, both on the shopfloor and elsewhere. I don’t really need to sign off for this task as one glance at my dry cracked hands speaks volumes.
Finally some good news. Customers are evidently seriously ‘self-medicating’ as alcohol sales have rocketed and it is a similar tale with ‘comfort’ food, such as chocolate. I am equally proud and ashamed to say I have definitely contributed to both these statistics!
The acceleration and devastation of the pandemic has inevitably caused some trying situations for us all, but I’ve been grateful to be occupied, able to contribute to the national crisis in a small way and help support our local community.
So please remember in future, your supermarket assistant was a Key Worker and should be cheered, not jeered!
Have a nice day.
