2024
May 2023: Oooo! One short cycle ride and my left hip decides to lock up in a painful spasm so I literally can’t put any weight on it. An ambulance is going to be hours to rescue me so my OH is forced to manipulate me into the passenger seat and take me to the local A&E. I’m seen eventually and advised to take a photo of my x-ray up on the screen parallel to the bed I’m lying on. Little do I realise how useful this photo will be.
Realistically, my arthritic genes are against me and I’ve already had the right hip done albeit 12 years ago at a local NHS Hospital. Last time I waited 3 months from official diagnosis. This time I wait 8 months merely to confirm diagnosis via x-ray and scans. Once on the list, I then wait another 6 months to actually get my surgery date, so a 14 month wait in total. Had I been in great pain as opposed to just general weakness, I may have opted to go private (approx. £16,000) but on being informed I could still be covered by the NHS, opt for the latter. This time I’m at a local Spire hospital which accommodates private and NHS patients.
July 2024: my surgery day finally arrives. The hospital seems very luxurious compared to my previous experience and I’m shown into a private en suite room and tempting meal menus (versus an inedible selection at a previous establishment!) Fortunately, surgery goes according to plan though my low blood pressure causes some concern. Painkillers are administered regularly and the following day the physio checks I can manage gentle walking and stairs with crutches. After a mere two nights (it was three 12 years ago), I am miraculously discharged.
Getting home is a repeat of my previous experience:
- fitting raised loo seats
- remembering to take medication at the right time (interestingly initially twice as many compared to last time including self-administered daily blood thinner injections)
- click-clacking round the house at all hours to relieve stiffness and eventually daily walks round ‘island’ of houses where I live. NB Having your hip replaced when the weather is fine is a big plus, as dark, damp, icy winter months are not very conducive to regular walks, not to mention grappling with getting socks and stout shoes on!
- managing light showering (I note hardly any bruising compared to my previous colourful kaleidoscopic effect) and drying of toes with a hairdryer
- recalling the usefulness of the invaluable Helping Hands grabber tool to assist with the constant irritation of not being able to pick anything off the floor below a couple of feet. You don’t realise how many things you pick up on a daily basis or how strong the desire is to just wipe down the odd dusty skirting board, pick up a tissue, open a drawer, retrieve a shoe, the mail or just a bit of fluff as you shuffle round the house… until you can’t! If you accidentally drop the grabber you are in bit of a dilemma and are then forced to rescue it by clumsily wielding your crutches around like giant chopstick pincers, an unusual skill that improves as the days pass!
- reinstating ‘Jeeves’ In-House Training! Some duties turn out to be more challenging than others. Out of a score of 5:
- chauffeuring 5
- shopping 5
- cooking 4
- flower arranging 2
- hosting visitors 4
- laundry 3
- multi-tasking 0
However, I know where my next meal is coming from so I’m not making any formal complaints and very grateful for any free t.l.c.
In most cases, having a hip replacement these days is literally and metaphorically ‘a walk in the park’ and I’m terribly grateful for the skill of my consultant and his team for giving me my life back.
Did I mention I was in the queue for a shoulder replacement? Better keep in with Jeeves!
